June 2013
did you know that in beacon hills people who “don’t look trustworthy enough to handle a paperback” can’t get library cards
today the ninety year old librarian behind the counter looked me up and down before wait-listing me
to get a goddamn library card
she doesn’t know my life
my family was murdered
i’ve saved over a dozen lives
i’m legally dead in like four states
i once had a hamster named jerome and he lived for twice as long as my family predicted he would
i can handle a fucking paperback book
Don't Eat All The Grandpa: imderekhaleandmyfamilyisdead: did you know that in beacon hills people... →
sammynotvaldez.tumblr.com
did you know that in beacon hills people who “don’t look trustworthy enough to handle a paperback” can’t get library cards
today the ninety year old librarian behind the counter looked me up and down before wait-listing me
to get a goddamn library card
she…
what leo/nico bromance i didn’t see any bromance
#leo was thinkin about jasons dick sorry
coincidentally, so was i
this shirt would fit if it weren’t for boobs: a tragedy
that shirt would fit if i had boobs: the sequel
this shirt fits perfectly because my boobs are the right size: the fanfiction
my shirts always fit: a man’s tale
i called my grandpa to wish him a happy 69th birthday and he said, “I skipped straight to 70. I don’t do 69 anymore, I’m too old to bend that way” and started laughing hysterically
grandpa
